In 1993 my adoptive mother died from a massive heartache, I was a lost 12 year old girl and a few years later in 1995 my daddy finally made the call to reach out to my birthmother only to get her ex husband on the other line with the devastating news she too died and also in 1993. She had cervical cancer and it spread very quickly.
With that phone call came much sadness to learn I would never meet the mother who created me, who made the hardest choice a woman can make, and the woman ultimately responsible for giving me the great life I had. That phone call also lead to extreme happiness when her ex husband and I meet and he gave me pictures of her...it was like looking in a mirror. He then introduced me to her best friend who later made the drive from Va. Beach to Northern VA and told her sister Carole. This all came with such shock! But looking at her and looking at me there was no doubt we were mother and daughter. I meet Carole quickly after. Carole was going through breast cancer at the time we meet. It was the closest I had ever been to breast cancer and I remember being amazed at her strength .I soon meet the remainder of my family as well.
Carole was the only one in her family to have been hit with breast cancer ...at that time! Years later I got the sad phone call my other Aunt Michelle had just been diagnosed with breast cancer as well. During this sad time for my family one day I was in the shower when I too discovered a lump. Finding a lump in your breast is the most sicking feeling I have ever had. The air is sucked out of you, and the room and you feel like a fish out of water.
I called my doctors office and set up an appointment right away, this was in September and with October fast approaching the waiting room was filled with magazines that were all about breast cancer. I was sick to my stomach waiting. I was so nervous, it is kinda one of those areas you aren't overly comfortable speaking to a nurse you don't know about. I babbled on about different reasons I was there...none of which were true, extra cramps, headaches, whatever I could think of. Finally as the nurse was leaving the room I spoke up, somehow this courage came over me and this little voice popped out "I found a lump...in my left breast". This nurse who appeared in about her 60's stopped dead in her tracks, turned, looked at me and said "We are extremely busy today, and behind, I have been a nurse for over 30 years and in those years I have never seen a woman under 30 with breast cancer. Please don't waste the doctor's time, you will look silly!"
Was this woman serious? Who the heck was she to tell any patient not to speak up about a concern? I was at this point angry, scared, and shocked! My heart raced what do I do? The doctor came in and I told her right off I found something in my breast and I am concerned. She didn't seem to be too busy or that I was wasting her time, and surely didn't make me feel silly. She did the examination and there it was! She never completed the examine after finding the lump, she just told me I needed an ultrasound and mammogram and it could not wait!
I didn't even call my husband I called the hospital first they told me they had many open dates, thank god! I just wanted answers! If it was cancer ok...so be it....but lets know so we can beat it....she asked all the typical info, name, insurance, phone number and birthdate. As soon as I said 1980 and she realized I was 26 she paused and said "well you can wait! we save these appointments for the patients that are in need of these appointments." Okay now I was just stunned! Was I honestly the only woman in the universe with a lump in my breast under the age of 30? NO WAY! I took the appointment, she gave me and just dealt with it!
Once I went for my appointment I thought this was something I could handle on my own I told my husband I didn't need him to come....OH WAS I WRONG! I had the ultrasound first and there it was.... bright and big as life. That lump that haunted me for weeks and weeks! The ultrasound tech kept taking shots of it, and mentioning in but then she said "Go ahead and get dressed at your age its probably a cyst no point in having a mammo at your age." She walked out to talk to the radiologist and now I wasn't scared, I wasn't mad I was straight up PISSED OFF! I did not get dressed and I had every intent of telling her all about herself when she came back in the room. I didn't have to apparently someone else had! She timidly asked me back to have a mammo. The mammo waiting room was full but they took me to the room right away and did mine right then. The mammo tech kept choking up she told me she had a 26 year old daughter, this was not a good sign, the tech is not supposed to choke up! She asked me to get dressed and wait for the radiologist. I can remember the room like it was yesterday it was so warm, it was painted a beautiful mauve color and the seats were so unlike being at a hospital. The radiologist came in and sat down next to me and said "It doesn't look good, I can't say if it is cancer or not but it looks bad. You need to see a breast surgeon right away." That air being sucked out of the room when I found this dumb lump suddenly was nothing! I couldn't breathe, I couldn't feel, I literally don't even remember going home!
Thank God my daddy looked up my family, thank God they decided to take me in and meet me and make me part of their family. Without this I would not have known my family history, I would not know my risk! I would not have had the courage to keep on and may have listened to a nurse who even with over 30 years experience she obviously knows NOTHING!
1 comment:
The nerve of people these days. you were so very strong through that whole ordeal. That's how I know that you can make it through whatever life throws your way. God works in mysterious ways. Sometimes we don't understand but its always for the best. God bless you Janna cause you're one of the strongest women I know. I love you sis.
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